there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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