Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
