you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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