found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
