people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
