When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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