Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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