Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
tell me about the fingering
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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