A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
