My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
