last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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