who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
