what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's rum buckets o'clock
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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