SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
