please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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