This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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