Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
