please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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