Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
