I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Randomize
