I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
