I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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