Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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