It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
