Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
