I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
