I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
