You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
