i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
