he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
