We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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