I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
