all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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