On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
