based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
