I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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