once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
