she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
