He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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