dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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