Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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