the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
