I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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