I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
