Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My vagina just recognized that song.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
