Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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