i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
