Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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