No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
