Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
tell your sister to shave her snatch
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
