I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
