Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
